On the back of the Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey and now Robert Knepper AKA TBag story, how many girls, ladies, women actually gave in to the abuse, harassment to some even rape in order to keep their roles? This; as i think of offences and how they can handicap an individual if not dealt with..
Often times i ask myself,
What if i stayed and fought?
What if i tried harder?
What if i compromised and followed his ways?
But then again i answer myself,
Compromise and lose who you are.
Fight with a person that is not willing to get in the ring with you and watch you selfworth wither away.
Stick around and be degraded.
I vividly remember that drive up North West.
Happy and excited! I was going to be serenaded in a 5 star set up! The joy was overwhelming. The thought that this was what i had waited for was to much for me to bear.
Then the moment of truth! “I brought you here to let you know. I can’t love you, i cant be with you. I love someone else. As a matter of fact. She is waiting for me as we speak.” Echoed through me like a piercing knife.
I could feel my heart sink, everything within me just seized. I wanted to cry out loud, but i couldn’t. I wailed instead. I was losing my mind.
How did i get here?
What is lacking in me? I asked.
Eventually. I let go
Held on to my selfworth.
Realised that i deserved better.
Realised i never needed a coward. I needed to be loved truelly and unconditionally. I needed to be appreciated for who i was!
And that; had to start with me loving me, understanding that being in love with myself was the first step to finding that true love!